Why Couples Who Ask Questions Stay Together

When was the last time you asked your partner a question you didn't already know the answer to?

The "Bids for Connection" Concept

Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman found that couples who stay together do one thing differently: they respond to each other's "bids for connection." A bid can be as simple as saying, "Look at that bird outside," or asking, "How was your day?"

The point isn't the content. It is the attempt to connect. When you respond positively, you build trust. When you ignore or dismiss, you chip away at it.

The Problem: We Stop Asking

Early in a relationship, you are curious about everything. What is their favorite food? What do they dream about? But over time, you think you "know" them. You stop asking. The conversations become transactional: "Did you pay the bill?" "What is for dinner?"

This is normal. But it is also dangerous. When curiosity dies, disconnection follows.

The Fix: Daily Micro-Conversations

You don't need a 3-hour deep talk every night. You just need a few minutes of intentional conversation. A single good question can unlock more than an hour of small talk.

Questions like:

• "What is something you are looking forward to this week?"
• "Is there anything I did recently that made you feel appreciated?"
• "What is one thing I could do to make your day easier?"

How Mawadda's Daily Questions Work

We send you and your partner a question every day. But here's the catch: you can't see their answer until you answer yours. This prevents "lurking" and ensures both of you show up.

Our questions are deeply rooted in Islam. While some are lighthearted ("If we could travel anywhere next month, where would you go?"), many are designed to help you grow together spiritually. Questions like: "What is one thing we could do to bring more Barakah into our home?" or "Which Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH) would you like us to practice together this week?"

Over time, you build a shared archive of your thoughts and values - a digital journal of your relationship's journey towards Allah.